Dog’s Movie House: “White Men Can’t Jump” A Jumbled Mess That Should Have Stayed On The Drawing Board!

The setup here is intriguing at first. Former high school prodigy (now delivery man) Kamal (Sinqua Walls) is a broken man with a temper that gets in his way. He also needs money to help is girlfriend get the hair salon she wants. He ends up teaming up with the new agey Jeremy (Jack Harlow, making a respectable debut), first to hustle in local games to earn the entrance fee to a tournament in which the winning team gets $500,000 dollars. They bicker a lot, mostly about race (one is black, the other white, so naturally debating will occur) and gradually earn respect for each other as they become a team to make their dreams come true (Gag!)

In making “White Men Can’t Jump” director Calmatic (who also made the dud remake of “House Party”) forgets everything that made the original film funny and energetic, instead going for some sort of muddled let’s-all-get-along message that never feels authentic despite the copious amount of profanity coursing throughout the film. The basketball scenes are confusing, especially when it comes to the varying formats used. In the original film, it’s a two-on-two game all the way to the big showdown. Here it’s three-on-three, full court, half-court, five-on-five, you name it. The montage doesn’t allow for any rules or consistency! There is also precious little hustling (even the initial encounter between Kamal and Jeremy is subdued and lacking energy.). Speaking of Jeremy, his trash-talking sucks and the movie is about a million years behind in recognizing that white folks can ball just as well the those black guys. Other than the title, there is no indication whatsoever that white men can’t jump.

There are a couple of redeeming factors. The scenes between Reddick and Walls are very good, and Walls brings an intensity to his character that’s better than the script deserves. The two female leads are decent, especially Teyana Taylor as Kamal’s girlfriend. The music is mostly nineties stuff, but beware: if hearing the N-Word in rap lyrics offends, you be better off watching “White Men Can’t Jump” on mute. Other than that, “White Men Can’t Jump” offers very little in the way of laughs or charisma. The only thing it makes me want to do is watch Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrellson spar on the court in the original. 1 1/2 Out Of 5 On Kendog’s Barkometer! So Sayeth The Kendog!

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