Dog’s Movie House: “Fatal Affair” Only Detrimental To Viewers!

What makes “Fatal Affair” so frustrating is that it has a pretty good cast. Nia Long plays Ellie Warren, a successful attorney who moves into a spacious home in the Bay Area with her architect husband Marcus (a low key but effective Stephen Bishop.) Right away we get the sense that things are not altogether well in Marriageland, as romantic relations are off the table and the bed is a chilly place with both spouses sleeping as far away from each other as they possibly can without falling off the bed.

Later at the office, Ellie runs into David (Omar Epps, not playing nearly crazy enough to be fun), a former friend from college. The two reconnect and end up boozing it up at a bar, getting liquored up and having a quick groping session (but no sex) in the women’s restroom before Ellie comes to her senses. This leads to David putting on his Stalker Supersuit and using his “hacker” skills (is that even a word anymore?) and going all “Fatal Attraction” on Ellie and her family. He even cozies up to Ellie’s best friend Courtney (Maya Stojan) in an attempt to get closer to the object of his affection.

There are more than a few problems with this film, obviously. For starters, the script by director Peter Sullivan and Rasheeda Garner is cliched, not scary, and makes supposedly smart characters do stupid things. Director Sullivan, a veteran of something like, well, a million of those god-awful Hallmark Christmas in July movies, can’t create a suspenseful atmosphere if one was handed to him on a silver platter, primarily because every trope he trots out on screen has been done better in several other films. The script ensures that none of the characters have enough relatable chemistry to even care about them for even a minute despite the best efforts of a game cast. Epps in particular seems adrift at the cinematic sea as to how to appropriately play his character. Long is a terrific actress stuck with some truly awful material. Also complicating matters is the fact that “Fatal Affair” is saddled with a TV-14 rating, so the film doesn’t even qualify as entertaining for gratuitous sex or violence.

Simply put, “Fatal Affair” commits the worst of cinematic sins: it’s freaking boring! Not to mention the fact that the title serves as false advertising. Their literally is NO AFFAIR in “Fatal Affair,” just one of many half-baked ideas in a half-baked film. Avoid at all costs unless your suffering from insomnia and find yourself lacking an appropriate sleep-aid! 1/2 Out Of 5 On Kendog’s Barkometer! So Sayeth The Kendog!

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