Dog’s Movie House: “Abigail,” “Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare” Two Exciting Movies. . .For Different Reasons!

First up is “Abigal” which begins with six thieves, all with different skill sets, assembled to kidnap the daughter of a powerful, rich man in order to extract fifty million dollars in ransom. They snatch the girl from her home and take her to an old masion where their contact Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito) informs them that they will have to stay 24 hours until the ransom is paid. Things ride off the rails in short order as they realize the girl, named Abigail, is actually a centuries old vampire who takes delight in hunting and killer her enemies. With the house on lockdown until dawn, the hunters become the hunted and it becomes a bloody violent affair!

Stephen Shield’s screenplay is based on the classic film “Dracula’s Daughter” but bears little resemblance to the actual movie. Instead “Abigail” plays as a horror comedy, with Abigails quips as sharp as her fangs as she, in her words, “plays with her food.” When the film gets violent, it gets quite graphic, but Radio Silence maintains a bouncy energy that keeps things moving quickly enough not to rub your face in the grue and gore. Most of the violence is fairly quick and there’s always something else going on to keep the screaming meemies at bay.

Radio Silence (Matt Bettinelli Olpin and Tyler Gillett) have assembled a cracker-jack cast who really tear into their roles, led by Melissa Barrera as Joey (interesting fact: in lieu of real names, Lambert names the crew after members of the Rat Pack), a former Army medic trying to get back to her kid. She’s the only real sympathetic character in the whole film and the movie is told most often from her perspecdtive. Barrera, known for Radio Silence’s Scream films, offers a nice balance of toughness and vulnerability that marks her character as someone to root for.

The same cannot be said for Dan Steven’s Frank, an ex-cop who is essentially an arrogant ass. Steven’s plays him beautifully, making him funny and intimidating in equal measure. The team of thieves is roiund out by exceptional perfomances from William Catlett, Kathryn Newton, Keving Durand, and the late Angus Cloud as the perpetually stoned getaway driver Dean. Esposito is his usual intense self as Lambert and his character’s arc gets a twist that is quite cool, but the MVP of “Abigail” is the young actress portraying the title character. Her name is Alisha Weir and she’s going to be one to watch folks! Her performance as the titular vampire is excellent. She manages to be not only convincing as a 12-year-old girl but as a centuries-old vampire, projecting innocence one second, lethal predatory skills the next, sometimes within a single scene. She’s plenty scary when she needs to be (the excellent makeup helps) and hopefully this isn’t the last for “Abigail” If you like bloody, action-packed and funny horror films that put a different spin on the vampire genre, check out “Abigail!” 4 Out Of 5 On Kendog’s Barkometer!

Next we have “The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare” starring Henry Cavill as Gus March-Phillips, a talented but reckless soldier tasked with putting together a team of equally disreputable chaps in what was the first “BLack Ops” mission in the world. On the orders of Winston Churchill (Rory Kinnear), March-Phillips team is to head to a Nazi base in neutral territory (hence the need for both secrecy and deniability) and destroy the supply lines that keep the German U-Boats afloat and sinking allied convoy ships and British battleships. Once March-Phillips assembles his team (including the exciting resuce of a comrade from a high security Nazi prison camp), the team make their way to the Nazi shipyard where they are aided by two allied spies: a nightclub owner named Heron (Babs Olusnmokun) and a beautiful yet deadly woman named Marjorie (the stunning and talented Eiza Gonzalez) Shifting conditions and unpllaned problems for the group to think and change things on the fly, potentially ruining the mission and putting them right in the crosshairs of sadistic Nazi commander Heinrich Luhr (an appropriately menacing Til Schweiger) Will they adapt fast enough to complete their mission? (What do you think?)

“The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare” moves like a rocket, catapaulting the audience from one location to another, from one set-piece to another, without giving anyone a chance to catch their breath. While the trailers make the film seem like it’s an off-beat Tarantino-esque film, “The Ministry Of Ungentlmanly Warfare” is more of a straight forward action flick with some comedic moments.

Leading the way is Cavill as March-Phillips and one can see why he’s a favorite to hopefully be the next James Bond. He’s got that swagger in spades and he’s convincing as an action hero. Unfortunately, there’s not quite enough of him in the film as this flick acts more like a true ensemble than anything else. Not that that’s a bad thing, but Cavill is just so good that you want to see more of him. He gets good support from Gonzalez and Olusmokun as his informants at the base (wait until you see Gonzalez in her Cleopatra costume for a Nazi costume ball. . . damn!) Cavill also gets good support from such actors as Henry Golding, Alex Pettyfer, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Cary Elwes, and in something of a suprise appearance by Freddie Fox as an officer named Ian Fleming. (It’s said that the real March-Phillips was Fleming’s inspiration for James Bond.)

But the real star of the show is none other than than “Reacher’s” Alan Ritchson, who plays the Swedish member of the team, one Anders Lassen. Ritchson is so ripped he makes Cavill look small (no mean feat, that) and his specialty is the bow and arrow along with any blade he can get his hands on. Ritchson plays Anders like a cool, rational dude who has an “on” switch that drives him into a killing frenzy. Anders gets the most creative kills of the bunch and he’s sure to become a fan favorite. (And did I mention how big the dude is?) The action is well shot and smoothly choregraphy and Ritchie’s script has some good story beats and some very funny dialogue. Overall “The Ministrey of Ungentlemanly Warfare” is a wonderfully entertaining fictionalization of an important moment in military history. If that’s what it takes to get people to read about the past then I’m all for it! 4 Out Of 5 On Kendog’s Barkometer! So Sayeth The Kendog!

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