Dog’s Movie House: “Moonfall,” “Jackass Forever” Slight Movies With Built In Audience!

First we have “Moonfall” in which Astronauts Halle Berry and Patrick Wilson are charged with preventing the Moon from colliding with Earth. They are not entirely successful, of course, for this is a Roland Emmerich film and you can’t have a Roland Emmerich film without causing large scale global property damage. The plot goes something like this: The moon is quickly losing orbit and will hit the Earth in a predetermined amount of time. Berry and Wilson’s characters, both of which are on completely unbelievable career trajectories due to events at the beginning of the film, are charged with preventing yet another Emmerich global catastrophe. They are aided in their endeavor by a conspiracy theorist played by John Bradley. There is a subplot involving Wilson’s son and his attempts to get Berry’s family to safety. Cue lots of unrealistic chases involving rednecks with guns, altered gravity, and lots of stuff blowing up.

Berry, Wilson, and Bradley do as well as they can, but the script doesn’t give them a lot of room with which to work. Berry in particular has trouble dealing with the broad strokes of her character, caught between being a tough leader at NASA and a compassionate mother. The script (by Emmerich, Harald Kloser, and Spencer Cohen) is the film’s biggest problem. From iffy science to improbably time lines, the film is full of eye-rolling moments filled with unintentional laughter. This is a shame, because the science fiction element that comes into play with about 30 minutes left in the film is actually quite intriguing. If more thought had been put into the details of the science involved, “Moonfall” would have been an above average blockbuster. As it stands, it’s a mildly diverting film with wonderful production values that makes the Fast & The Furious franchise look like a series of Stephen Hawking lectures from a physics standpoint. Enjoy “Moonfall” only if you are able to literally check your brain at the lobby of your local theater. 2 1/2 Out Of 5 On Kendog’s Barkometer!

Next we have “Jackass Forever.” If you are a fan of the series of films about a bunch of goofballs who perform dangerous stunts for their own entertainment (and presumably, ours) then this film is going to be right up your alley. There is no plot to speak of, just a series of stunts that are either laugh-out loud funny or cringe inducing. (Sometimes a bit of both.) RIngleader Johnny Knoxville, now fifty years old and showing it a bit, serves as more of a maestro of the chaos enacted by his ever expanding crew. There’s not much to describe here in terms of plot and I won’t spoil the stunts, but let’s just say that there is more male genitilla on display then I ever want to see again and most of the time it appears to be getting crushed in a variety of supposedly comedic ways. I did laugh a few times but the whole exercise gets a bit repetitive. If you are a fan of this series then it’s right up your alley but if you’re not you need to stay away. 2 1/2 Out Of 5 On Kendog’s Barkometer! So Sayeth The Kendog!

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